Literary Analysis of Marriage Is a Private Affair

The short story "Marriage Is a Private Affair" is a story about a man who is deeply in love with a woman and seeks his father's approval for their engagement, but instead of happiness, met with disappointment and hostility as his father disapproves of the marriage. It seems the purpose of this story was to stress the importance of personal independence and display relationship that family is more important than tradition. This analysis will evaluate the theme, setting, plot, characterization, point of view, irony, and symbolism in Achebe's short story "Marriage Is a Private Affair."

The theme in this story is personal freedom. When it comes to down to things as personal as marriage, you have to value your own opinion, instead to just giving in to the opinion, and will ,of others. Nnaemeka's father did not approve of his wife, and he had no reason other than the cultural and tribal differences which were not good enough reasons. At the end of the day the marriage is between Nnaemeka and Nene, not Nnaemeka, Nene, and Okeke. Nnaemeka has to choose the one he loves and the one who makes him happy, beacuse whoever he chooses to marry is who he will have to spend the rest of his life with. At the end of the day, as the title stated, marriage is a private affair. The decision to marry is between the engaged couple.

The first setting of this story is somewhere in Africa, in the city of Lobos, which is where Nnaemeka and Nene lived. The mood of that setting was a happy one, as they were preparing for their wedding. The second setting was somewhere in a Nigerian village where Okeke, Nnaemeka's father, lived. The mood of that setting was hostile and sad for that is where all of the father and son disagreements occurred. Based on the limited details given in the story, it is hard to pin-point an exact time period that this took place in, but it would not be unrealistic to assume that this story took place in modern times. Also when you add in the fact that the story was written around the 1950's, one could also assume the mid 20th century as the most likely time period.

The rising action of the story occurred when Nnaemeka's fiance, Nene, asked him if he had informed his father of their engagement, which he had not done because he had already predicted his father's disapproval. The minor conflict occurred when Nene told Naemeka to write a letter to his father informing him of their engagement. Naemeka  had not told his wife to be that his father had already written him a letter with news of a woman that he had arranged for him, and he has not the courage to tell her.

The major conflict occurred when Nnaemeka finally informed his father that he was engaged and could not marry Ugoye, the girl that was arranged by his father for him. His father was furious and confused. He was not open to understanding his son's point or view. The climax of the story was reached when Okeke disowned his son for his decision to marry outside of their tribe and traditions. He said would have nothing to do with his son or his wife to be, and he forbid both of them to com e to his home. The falling action of the story took place a little over 8 years after their marriage when Okeke received a letter from Nene explaining to him how she and Nnaemeka had two sons who, when the learned the had a grandfather, requested to meet him. She was pessimistic about telling them that he wanted nothing to do with them and implored him to allow them to visit him with Nnaemeka, while she would stay home.

The resolution arose when Okeke started to realize he was "fighting a loosing battle" in trying to deny his grandchildren. He begins to experience a change of heart as he is unable to sleep due to "remorse" and apprehension of dieing before he has a chance to make up for shutting his grandchildren out because of his stubborn prideful ways.

Okeke is arguably the main character of the story all of his reactions are critical to the plot of the story. He can best be described as a round character as he only wants what he thinks is best for his son, even as he disapproves of his engagement, which is when you start to see some of his more ugly qualities revealed. He is very traditional, prideful, and stuck in his ways, so once he comes to the realization that Nnaemeka will not change his mind he just disowned him all together. Nnaemeka's character is very open-minded and loving, you can see that as he decides to marry outside his tribe, the way he stood by his wife throughout his father's childish tantrum. He is also loving because even after the way his father reacted he still loved him and had hope that he would have a change of heart. Even though he never did he still made sure his wife and marriage was a happy one. Nene's character was optimistic, caring, and also very loving as she always stayed positive even when Nnaemeka told her his father would not approve of their engagement, and also when the other people in Largos did not. She even begged Okeke to see her sons, who had requested to meet him, and volunteered to stay home while her husband brought them over.

Achebe was exceptional in his use of direct and  indirect characterization in this story. He used direct characterization when he used Nnaemeka's character, in the beginning of the story, to tell you what kind of man his father was. An example of this was when he was explaining to his fiance why he thought it would be best to wait and tell his father of their engagement in person rather than by letter. You had a heads up on Okeke's traditional,stubborn qualities before his character was introduced. Later those qualities where shown through indirect characterization when Okeke, as Nnaemeka predicted, frowned upon their engagement and disowned him for his decision to go through with it anyways.

Nnaemeka's character also showed indirect characterization as he first open-mindedly marry someone outside of his tribe. He also portrayed a strong, loving, willful man, as well as a good husband, as he stood by his wife, and defended her, when his father told him she was not good enough. He also remained respect for his father throughout the whole ordeal, and never gave up hope that his father would eventually have a change of heart, which is an even bigger testament to his good nature, and/or heart. You could tell his father, and his opinion meant a great deal to him as he was emotionally distraught from his father's reaction.

The point of view of this Story was third person omniscient because the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of each character which in turn helps us as the readers to understand the characters with a little more clarity.

This story has strong verbal irony, mainly because of the title "Marriage Is a Private Affair." Marriage was anything but private in this story as the people in Nnaemeka's tribe traditionally have arranged marriages. Also Everyone and their mothers all had negative opinions about their marriage with the the absence of cultural similarities and parental influence. The word affair also breeds irony as we usually associate the word with someone cheating or having a relationship with someone outside of their marriage. Marriage is not an affair in the context of the title at all.

There was also a bit of situational irony as Nnaemeka expected his father's disapproval but not on the scale that it was shown. The can be best shown in the beginning when he said to his wife "I wish I were sure it would be happiness to him" referring to the news o their engagement. Although he expected some resistance, he did not expect it on the level of which he was shown. That was expressed when the author went on to describe his reaction to his father's response by saying "He was very deeply affected by his father's grief."



The symbol in this story was the rain at the end. As soon as Okeke reads the letter sent to him by Nene about his grand kids asking to meet him he finally starts to break down. Then it starts raining. the author describes this scene by saying "It came down in large sharp drops and was accompanied by the lightning and thunder which mark a change of season. Okeke was trying hard not to think of his two grandsons. But he knew he was now fighting a losing battle" I think the chance of season also symbolized Okeke's change of heart and the rain represented his feelings of pain, resentment, and depression.





Overall the story was decent; nothing that I have not read a hundred times. That being said I still admire Nnaemeka's strength and will, as he stood by, and defended, his wife. There are many, some of those in my family as well, who would not/ do not do the same for their significant others. I also like how the story ended showing that Okeke was not all bad. Family is more important than anything. You never know how long you will have to spend with them. 

Product Review

1) JAWBONE ERA bluetooth headset: $140

Review: I do not have much experience with Bluetooth headsets, as this is my first one ever, but so far this headset gets a 3 out of five star rating from me. I bought this headset, ideally, for work as I work in a noisey manufacturing plant as a maintenance technician and I needed a noise cancelling Bluetooth headset for hands free calling while I perform my daily duties. Of course, just like with any product, there are some things I like and some things that I do not.

Pros: This Bluetooth headset is light and small which is something that I can say I appreciate. I cancels out the different background sounds being provided by my work environment. This headset can also be used to listen to media sounds(music and movies). Fast Bluetooth charger as well as a carrying case that can charge it as well. Lasts relatively long, up to 5 hours of straight talk time, on a single five hour charge. Another nice feature, though I seldom use it, is the ability to to hear text message and emails, and reply using your voice.

Cons: Even though the headset is noise cancelling, I can barely hear the person on the other line which is a bit disappointing. The volume and sound quality leaves much to e desired as it can sometimes be murky.

Overall: The only thing keeping this product from receiving a 5 star rating from me is the low volume level. Other than that, the hands free features are much appreciated. Outside of a noisey setting this would be the absolute perfect Bluetooth headset.















2) Polaroid Bluetooth Tall Tower Stereo: $40

Review: First off, I want to make it known that my expectations for this product were not very high to begin with as it was just something I decided to try out while shopping at a dollar store. That being said, this speaker is not bad for the price. The speaker, itself, looks nice, and the sound quality can be best described as average, but lacking in bass. It is best used in small isolated rooms in order to receive the best quality possible. It works off of Bluetooth, however, it also comes with an auxiliary cord for devices that are incompatible, or just as an added option. The Bluetooth has a reach of up to 30ft. This speaker comes with a AM and FM radio option as well

Pros: Price us considerably cheap. Works well with Bluetooth and auxiliary cord options. Average sound quality. AM and FM radio is an added bonus.

Cons: Sound quality leaves much to be desired. The base is a joke. Not made for big spaces

Overall: The quality was exactly what I expected for a speaker that was purchased from dollar tree. The sound quality and volume capabilities are average at best. The style of the speaker is actually quite decent. My final verdict is if you do not want to spend much money on a Bluetooth speaker that is decent this is the one for you. However, if you are like me and want a Bluetooth speaker that is loud, has great bass, and sound quality, then I suggest you stop being cheap and go for brands like Bose, Sonos, or Beats by Dre. I have one by Beats and I love it. After careful reading of reviews, I plan to go buy the Sonos speaker collection as well.



3) Beats By Dre Studio Wireless Headphones: $380

Review: So far I have owned two pairs of dre beats headphones; the in-ear and over the ear wireless studio editions. I bought these headphones because, one,  I love listening to music really loud whether I am listening to an instrumental preparing to write my own music, or I am listening to someone else's. I love to just get lost in the the whole experience of the music. With that being said, these headphones had a growing reputation for being the loudest headphones on the market that also packed an amazing bass feel without sacrificing the sound quality of the music. The second reason I bought them is because they look really cool especially when compared with other wireless headphones. As for the product as a whole, I can say I am very satisfied with the overall sound quality an d volume. The fact that it is wireless is a huge plus allowing me to use them while working out, or doing anything physical period, without the nuisance of the cord being in the way, or having the cord getting caught on something leading to the headphones flying off my head.

Pros: Very stylish design. Up to 12 hours of use on a single 2 hour charge. Very loud, and has bass so loud you can feel it as the headphones vibrate. Noise cancelling works perfect. It is Bluetooth and comes with two auxiliary cords as well. Very comfortable to wear.

Cons: When the batteries die, you can no longer listen to music, even when plugging in the cord to the headphones. These headphones have the tendency to experience blown speakers, even without listening to music at high levels. The price is a bit high at $380.

Overall: These headphones are perfect for the everyday music listener who can appreciate good quality as these headphones allow you to listen to music the way the artist intended you to. The only downside is the price, but when you consider the alternatives like "Skullcady" which are good too and they are bluetooth but the sound quality is no where near beats, or Bose headphones which are debatably better than Beats but comes at a hefty starting price of $400.

Influential People

This has to be the most difficult and frustrating blog that I have to write to date. To have to write about people who have impacted others, and myself, is very difficult for me and I will explain why. It is difficult because, just like a lot of Black kids, i grew up without, really any, role models and/or anyone who has truly impacted my life; especially in a positive way. As far as someone I know who has impacted others, I would have to take you way back in history, especially when it comes to finding someone who has impacted others, because I am a loner who seldom thinks, or cares, about what others are thinking or doing unless it benefits me to know. Be that as it may, this is still something that I have to do so here goes nothing.

Someone who has impacted me personally, I guess, would have to be my dad. Although he was not around long, he was around long enough to make a great impact on me. Growing up my dad use to punish me a lot, and by punish I mean beat, and he was at times creative int he ways he would do so. He tried just about every method, he burned me, beat me with different objects(belts. metal rulers, extension cords, bats, fists,etc),h even handcuffed me so I could not run a few times. Those were the times my mom would have to rush in my room and stop him before he killed me. It is crazy because I probably could of stopped it early by telling this counselor at this charter school that I was forced to see but I could never bring myself to do it out of fear of what might happen if he found out and they could not get me away from him. Some days I would come see the counselor and I would be all beat up and bruised and she would ask me what happened and I would tell her, apprehensive of what might happen if I told the truth, that I fell down or whatever came to my mind. After years upon years of beating me me, my dad finally told me he hated me. Deep down I had always felt this was the case but now it was evident. The actual event that led to him expressing those hateful words was the day I was doing laundry when I was on punishment and was not supposed to leave my room. I think I had to have been like eight years-old. Anyways, my dad was always angry at me all the time that i thought he hated me, so in an effort to make him hate me less i decided that i would do all the laundry for him and my mom. All that did was make him utter the words that I always thought he felt, the words that would go on to change me forever. "I hate you."

The whole point to that story was this. My dad was never one for sensitivity, sharing feelings, caring, or any emotions for that matter. He never encouraged that type of behavior. He was all about being tough, being strong, being a man, and because of that I was forced to teach myself a lot. I taught myself how to play sports, how to ride my bike, and all the other things that a father was supposed to teach me. which ended up benefiting me, because it taught me how to survive on my own, in a way, at an early age. It taught me how to be self-sufficient. He also taught me, whether he knows it or not, how to be strong. Feelings are weaknesses that are best kept to yourself. They also give people something over you. He also taught me, through his actions, that life can sometimes be cruel and unfair, and people are not always put in your life to love you or be there for you. Sometimes you are going to be the only one who loves and/or cares about you (although i had my mom and little sister) and you are going to have to be okay with that. He also showed me how not to raise my kids when I eventually have them. He, just this year, accredited his poor parenting choices to his own father for not being around to show him any better, therefore he lacked the tools needed to be a good father. If that is true, then he also showed me how important it will be for me to guide my future kids, especially my son, in the right direction; teach them right from wrong. These are all lessons that I have received from my dad. Along my path through life I, at times, forgot some of theses lessons and was harshly reminded of them, as far as the being strong and emotionless, and remembering that everyone is not here for me, even when they say they are. He could have gone another route to teach me the things that he did, and he may not know it, but those moments, when I was really young, gave me some lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Now on to the next person of influence; someone who has impacted several or many people. Again, this is a near impossible topic for me to address seeing as I do not know such a person, for I do not pay attentions to other people's lives unless it would behoove me to. Most people that I know, younger and older alike, tell me I impact their lives and that they look up to me which is a heavy burden to have to live up if you ask me. However, for the sake of answering the question, I would have to say the pastor at my church, Pastor Pierson. He seems to give everyone in the congregation hope, peace of mind, and something to believe in, even as they continue to confide in him outside of scheduled church services. He impacts them so much that they followed him as he transitioned through two other churches and a high school trying to find somewhere he could plant his roots due to unfortunate circumstances. I do not know much about him, though he seems like a good man from the few personal conversations that I have shared with him, though I do not really attend church much these days. I was always forced to go to church by my mom so once i finally turned eighteen and moved out on my own I rarely ever attended any Sunday services. It is hard to believe in god the way that the church does when I have experienced and witnessed as much as I have. I have always been a realest, therefore, I refuse to blindly the word of  a man-made book that no one can truly verify. or follow anyone( a god), especially one that I can not not physically see or feel. I am however, a christian who believes out of fear that if I do not I will burn in hell. At least that is what they taught in Sunday school, but I am getting off topic. Pastor Pierson seems to be a good man as he always is thinking of others, taking time out of his life to console others and plan different activities for the youth so that they might have something positive to do, which is very important in this day in age. These reasons alone are the reasons that i choice him for this topic.

Now for someone who has impacted a large group of people. I want to be different and avoid the usual choices (like: MLK, Barack Obama, Sojourner Truth,etc), therefore, I go with Sean Corey Carter better known as "Jay Z". The business man Sean Carter who got his start as the rapper Jay Z came from an impoverished life which made, and still makes, him relatable to a lot of men in the black community all over the world. He acquired our attention through his music as he rapped about his humble beginnings and the situations he had to overcome with great lyrical ability. While having this platform he rarely did anything that people would deem unbecoming or inappropriate. What really impresses me is not what he did as a rapper but what he went on to do after the music. Most blacks, rappers, athletes, actors,etc, just maximize there profits in the entertainment industry until they fall off or they get replaced by the next big thing, or trend. After that they tend to go broke, or they simply remain stagnant. But Jay Z went on to become a very successful businessman with a lot of power, and connections, and he also ended up marrying one of the most powerful, beautiful, and most influential women in the world; Beyonce. Jay Z, a black man from Brooklyn Projects in New York accomplished all this. He was inspired other rappers and regular black men and children to want to live up to his accomplishments as a business man. He has regular visits with powerful people like the president of the United States for goodness sakes. He could have just taken his earnings from music and accepted his legendary status in the hip-hop community and been done but he saw much more opportunity and I can admire that. He was invested in business industries from, sport teams, beverages, record labels, clothing line, clubs etc. He his networth is currently north of 600 million dollars! 600 million! together he and his wife are worth north of a billion. Just let that sink in.

Before I Die(Bucket List)

You would think it would be easy to come up with a bucket list, but for me it is actually difficult. I am a true believer in "living life to the fullest" so I have achieve most of the things I would have put in my bucket list, however, I believe I can still have a few things I would like to do before I die.

The first thing I want to do is make a music video, which is something I plan to do within the next month. I have been writing music ever since I was ten years old and before that I was winning first prize all over in dance competitions, so music has always meant a lot to me. I like watching music videos with creative story lines and graphics. Everyone has a different creative mind so it is always interesting to see how their creativity will manifest in their music and the video. I have so many ideas, and with the job that I have I am now in the position where I can comfortably spend whatever I want to get a video to match my vision. Who knows, maybe one day I will learn how to shoot and edit my own videos.



Next on my list in something that is on everyone's list; traveling. When i say traveling, I do not mean just in the U.S., I mean globally. I want to experience what other states and countries have to offer,the culture, the environment, the people, the food, I want to experience everything I can. I have traveled to many places already and do not have any plans of slowing up. I have this thing where I collect hats from all the countries' states and cities that I have visited, and as of right now, the only international hats I own are my London and Mexico hats. I plan on adding to my hat collection more and more as time passes.

Aspen, Colorado

Aspen, Colorado.

Paris, France

Graphic design

Engineering

This next thing on my list is something that is very important to me. I want to start, and fund, a program for the youth, directed more towards minorities(though anyone will be welcome to join), that will expose them to life's opportunities. I want it to almost be like a career camp where kids go to be exposed to the different types of careers there are for them(S.T.E.M, medical, business, law, etc) in the future. If I would had something like this when I was younger and was exposed to engineering I would have been more motivated in school and things would have gone different for me in life. This, just like sports was for me and plenty others, can be the motivation kids need to stay, and thrive, in school. You have a lot of kids that want to play sports, and they know that they have to stay in school and maintain a certain GPA while doing so. Those kids have sports as their motivation to stay and do well in school, but what about the kids who are not athletes? Or what about the kids who are just not good enough to make it to the next level? I have seen, and still see to this day, many adolescents loose their life due to a lack of hope, a lack of motivation, a lack of support, or just a pure lack of guidance. If I had not found a way to motivate myself I would be in the same position as a lot of my old friends; in jail or dead. I just want to help give those kids the hope, the motivation, the support, and the guidance that they need in order to reach their full potential doing something positive. The only way to do this is by giving them options, showing them another way, and by showing them the end result of what their hard work will get them by being an example which is perhaps the most important part. Without proof its just all talk and hype to them. I know because it was the same way I thought.

Medical/ Science Career

Business

Sonny Rollins

On to the next thing on my bucket list; learning to play the saxophone. I remember the first time I herd someone play. One could relate it to the way the narrator felt in the story "Sonny's Blues" when he herd  his brother Sonny play the piano at that club for the first time. When that man played the saxophone you could hear all the emotion, the pain, the suffering, and that, to me, is an amazing thing. Music, to me, is a feeling, a way of expressing yourself, which is something I feel like our generation has lost sight of. No matter what genre of music I listen to all I hear is ignorant trash because all people care about is making money instead of making good music. When you can influence others to feel your emotions, or any emotions period, through music, you are truly gifted. That man that played the sax that day made me want to play because it touched me so much, and I want to be able to do that. Also the way the Saxophone sounds is amazing. I taught myself how to play piano when I was ten now I am ready for my next instrument.

John Coltrane

Number five on my list is learning to speak at least one new language fluently. I do not have a reason other than just being able to communicate with different cultures, which is funny when you think about it because I do not really like people, nevertheless, like seen to really like talking to me. Learning new languages would also benefit me considering all the overseas traveling I have in my future. I also want to know what all the foreigners in the U.S. are saying when they are speaking their native language because I think that they are often talking shit. Excuse my language but I did not know any other way to say it. I guess that is one of the things I have to improve on while I am in school; expanding my vocabulary.

Audi R8

Sixth on my bucket list is owning a super-car. I know. So far I had a mature respectable list then I had to go and get all superficial, but so what. I want one, therefore, I will have one! I am thinking something along the line of a Audi or Ferrari. Besides my infatuation with the style of super-cars, I love how fast they can go. I love, love, love to drive fast and I have the speeding tickets to prove it. Jut like everything else on this bucket list, I will achieve this goal, and probably a suspended license from more speeding tickets right after, but hey. They have to catch me to give me a ticket so good luck to them on that.

Laferrari

Aston Martin

On to the next thing on my list, number seven, creating something that will last and have a huge impact on the world. One could say that is why I am in school pursuing the major's I am pursuing. I have loved two things since i was young; music and technology. I have always had it in my head that i was either going to have a music career, be an entrepreneur, and/or an inventor. Until I was exposed to engineering, I did not know I could actually have a career inventing,or innovating, things, which is why I did not go to school right away. No one told me about engineering, which ties back to why I want to start that program. Technology is becoming a huge part of human society as we continue to lean more and more on it for our day to day lives. That being said, I want to be apart of the the amazing things that are being created. I have a lot of things that I would like to see created, so why not be the one to create those things? I have been tearing apart and putting things back together as a kid. My mom can attest to that. I also started a lot of fires trying to invent things by combining parts from my different toys when i was younger.

My  family

My cousins and Aunt

The final thing on  my list, which I am sure is on everyone's list, is to have my own family. I want to find someone who is loyal and cares about me as much as I care about them, someone I actually have strong feelings for, and can build with. Out of everything on my list, this will probably be the toughest thing to accomplish. However, once I am to complete this near impossible task, I want to start a family, have kids. I want to be able to go on road trips, visit resorts and themes parks, and just do things as a family period, because even though we did not have a lot growing up, the moments I spent doing things with my family meant the world to me.