The short story "Marriage Is a Private Affair" is a story about a man who is deeply in love with a woman and seeks his father's approval for their engagement, but instead of happiness, met with disappointment and hostility as his father disapproves of the marriage. It seems the purpose of this story was to stress the importance of personal independence and display relationship that family is more important than tradition. This analysis will evaluate the theme, setting, plot, characterization, point of view, irony, and symbolism in Achebe's short story "Marriage Is a Private Affair."
The theme in this story is personal freedom. When it comes to down to things as personal as marriage, you have to value your own opinion, instead to just giving in to the opinion, and will ,of others. Nnaemeka's father did not approve of his wife, and he had no reason other than the cultural and tribal differences which were not good enough reasons. At the end of the day the marriage is between Nnaemeka and Nene, not Nnaemeka, Nene, and Okeke. Nnaemeka has to choose the one he loves and the one who makes him happy, beacuse whoever he chooses to marry is who he will have to spend the rest of his life with. At the end of the day, as the title stated, marriage is a private affair. The decision to marry is between the engaged couple.
The first setting of this story is somewhere in Africa, in the city of Lobos, which is where Nnaemeka and Nene lived. The mood of that setting was a happy one, as they were preparing for their wedding. The second setting was somewhere in a Nigerian village where Okeke, Nnaemeka's father, lived. The mood of that setting was hostile and sad for that is where all of the father and son disagreements occurred. Based on the limited details given in the story, it is hard to pin-point an exact time period that this took place in, but it would not be unrealistic to assume that this story took place in modern times. Also when you add in the fact that the story was written around the 1950's, one could also assume the mid 20th century as the most likely time period.
The rising action of the story occurred when Nnaemeka's fiance, Nene, asked him if he had informed his father of their engagement, which he had not done because he had already predicted his father's disapproval. The minor conflict occurred when Nene told Naemeka to write a letter to his father informing him of their engagement. Naemeka had not told his wife to be that his father had already written him a letter with news of a woman that he had arranged for him, and he has not the courage to tell her.
The major conflict occurred when Nnaemeka finally informed his father that he was engaged and could not marry Ugoye, the girl that was arranged by his father for him. His father was furious and confused. He was not open to understanding his son's point or view. The climax of the story was reached when Okeke disowned his son for his decision to marry outside of their tribe and traditions. He said would have nothing to do with his son or his wife to be, and he forbid both of them to com e to his home. The falling action of the story took place a little over 8 years after their marriage when Okeke received a letter from Nene explaining to him how she and Nnaemeka had two sons who, when the learned the had a grandfather, requested to meet him. She was pessimistic about telling them that he wanted nothing to do with them and implored him to allow them to visit him with Nnaemeka, while she would stay home.
The resolution arose when Okeke started to realize he was "fighting a loosing battle" in trying to deny his grandchildren. He begins to experience a change of heart as he is unable to sleep due to "remorse" and apprehension of dieing before he has a chance to make up for shutting his grandchildren out because of his stubborn prideful ways.
Okeke is arguably the main character of the story all of his reactions are critical to the plot of the story. He can best be described as a round character as he only wants what he thinks is best for his son, even as he disapproves of his engagement, which is when you start to see some of his more ugly qualities revealed. He is very traditional, prideful, and stuck in his ways, so once he comes to the realization that Nnaemeka will not change his mind he just disowned him all together. Nnaemeka's character is very open-minded and loving, you can see that as he decides to marry outside his tribe, the way he stood by his wife throughout his father's childish tantrum. He is also loving because even after the way his father reacted he still loved him and had hope that he would have a change of heart. Even though he never did he still made sure his wife and marriage was a happy one. Nene's character was optimistic, caring, and also very loving as she always stayed positive even when Nnaemeka told her his father would not approve of their engagement, and also when the other people in Largos did not. She even begged Okeke to see her sons, who had requested to meet him, and volunteered to stay home while her husband brought them over.
Achebe was exceptional in his use of direct and indirect characterization in this story. He used direct characterization when he used Nnaemeka's character, in the beginning of the story, to tell you what kind of man his father was. An example of this was when he was explaining to his fiance why he thought it would be best to wait and tell his father of their engagement in person rather than by letter. You had a heads up on Okeke's traditional,stubborn qualities before his character was introduced. Later those qualities where shown through indirect characterization when Okeke, as Nnaemeka predicted, frowned upon their engagement and disowned him for his decision to go through with it anyways.
Nnaemeka's character also showed indirect characterization as he first open-mindedly marry someone outside of his tribe. He also portrayed a strong, loving, willful man, as well as a good husband, as he stood by his wife, and defended her, when his father told him she was not good enough. He also remained respect for his father throughout the whole ordeal, and never gave up hope that his father would eventually have a change of heart, which is an even bigger testament to his good nature, and/or heart. You could tell his father, and his opinion meant a great deal to him as he was emotionally distraught from his father's reaction.
The point of view of this Story was third person omniscient because the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of each character which in turn helps us as the readers to understand the characters with a little more clarity.
This story has strong verbal irony, mainly because of the title "Marriage Is a Private Affair." Marriage was anything but private in this story as the people in Nnaemeka's tribe traditionally have arranged marriages. Also Everyone and their mothers all had negative opinions about their marriage with the the absence of cultural similarities and parental influence. The word affair also breeds irony as we usually associate the word with someone cheating or having a relationship with someone outside of their marriage. Marriage is not an affair in the context of the title at all.
There was also a bit of situational irony as Nnaemeka expected his father's disapproval but not on the scale that it was shown. The can be best shown in the beginning when he said to his wife "I wish I were sure it would be happiness to him" referring to the news o their engagement. Although he expected some resistance, he did not expect it on the level of which he was shown. That was expressed when the author went on to describe his reaction to his father's response by saying "He was very deeply affected by his father's grief."
The symbol in this story was the rain at the end. As soon as Okeke reads the letter sent to him by Nene about his grand kids asking to meet him he finally starts to break down. Then it starts raining. the author describes this scene by saying "It came down in large sharp drops and was accompanied by the lightning and thunder which mark a change of season. Okeke was trying hard not to think of his two grandsons. But he knew he was now fighting a losing battle" I think the chance of season also symbolized Okeke's change of heart and the rain represented his feelings of pain, resentment, and depression.
Overall the story was decent; nothing that I have not read a hundred times. That being said I still admire Nnaemeka's strength and will, as he stood by, and defended, his wife. There are many, some of those in my family as well, who would not/ do not do the same for their significant others. I also like how the story ended showing that Okeke was not all bad. Family is more important than anything. You never know how long you will have to spend with them.
